This is the time,Nuna

For now,

I think, that’s it.

It’s time to get back on track.

Having a career goal

And be happy of doing what I love to do.

Do more things that I can do by my own.

Love myself more.

Before anyone else does.

…..

Dari berteka teki tentang perasaan sendiri,

Perasaan orang lain,

Lebih baik jalan terus tanpa pra-sangka,

Jalan dan terus jalan.

The best is yet to come.

9/1/2017

Why

after a decade,

I'm falling for a person that has your name.

Again.

Why?

4/1/2017

KitKat

I don’t talk to you as much.

About how I feel for you.

But I mentioned your name,

In my prayers.

I talk to Almighty about you,

It’s more than enough,

If it is you, let just be you.

If it’s now, let’s make it a clear way,

If it’s later, let the heart patiently wait,

It it’s never, let the guts be there to let go.

Que sera sera,

What will be will be.

30/12/2016

Cendol

it's not that i'm craving so much,

I just want to spend some of my random evening hours,

With you,

I know it's a tiring day for you.

Thank you,

 for your efforts for being there,

And for your time.

You made my day.

............


29/12/2016

Unison

It's been only 10 days,

I thought I redefined the feelings

I did

But after that 10 days

I re-redefined everything

I like the black shirt.

............


28/12/2016

5399

the view is still,

October 5th,

On our back home,

It's a rainy day

But very calm,

You were on your white shirt

Long sleeves.

The day i found something new about you,

The other side which i never saw

Which i never knew,i never expect,

And that was when i first time tweeted about you

Specifically.


.................

9/12/2016

Thoughts

I always judge people, but I don’t do open criticism. (At least recently I don’t, I admit I used to)

Or sometimes, I just do not say it out loud.

I rather keep it to myself.

Because, being judged by others is not easy to adapt.

And it surely not easy to accept.

That’s why, most of the time, whatever opinion we have, have a look at it.

At least a slight look.

It does not harm, bad words does.

………………………

To know people,

You have to be with them,

Communicate,

Discuss,

Sharing thoughts,

and be open to suggestions.

Recently, my perception of this one guy changed. A major change. After so many years, satu satu perkara yg keluar dari mulut dia, buat aku terdiam dan berfikir.

……………………….

27/10/2016

Best Friend.

lebih baik begitu,

kita beri masa.

pada diri masing-masing.

menilai apa yang hilang,

sama ada lebih untung atau lebih rugi.

atau tiada beza.

-aku harap aku lebih menghargai segalanya.

MaharajaWish berduka

Semalam aku menangis.

siapa yang tak kenal, Nabil, yg amazing. penuh gelak tawa. with funny jokes, spontaneous emotion. pooofff.

nabil jarang call kalau benda tu tak penting. dia akan whatsapp saje. kalau tiada urgency atau suatu keadaan yg tak mendesak dia tak akan call.generally.

pukul 10.03 pagi. masa aku tengah buat cookies dgn kakak ipar.

Nabil call.

pelik. tapi aku angkat juga, sebab excited nak bgtau tgh buat cookies ni.

"Nuna,"....

diam.

"kat mana?"

aku pun tanpa syak apa2, dgn excitednye tgh buat cookies ni kat rumah kak syeera..bla bla bla.

nabil diam.
aku dah rasa lain.

nape Nabil?

"kitrg kan mandi pantai kan....."

nabil diam lagi.

aku saspen dah, ahha, tahu....kenapa nabil?

nabil diam 2saat,

"Nanti Nabil call balik ya Nuna"

ok...

aku terus msg dia.

"Nabil, is everything allright? You sounded so sad"

"take care Nabil, apa2 just ring me okay?"

in that 10minutes aku stop baking, and duduk kat sofa.pegang phone.

Nabil call balik.

"Nuna...."

nabil terus menangis. sambil ckp.

"Kawan nabil, lemas.... org tolong... tapi tak sempat....."

Allahu akbar. aku diam je, walau airmata dah bergenang,
Muka yg muncul, muka Ara, Kechik,Syahmi, fasharah. 4 tu yg aku kenal.

macam kene cucuk2, sebab nabil tak ckp siapa yg lemas tu.

nabil menangis, teresak esak.
aku diam,diam..aku tak tahu patut ke aku ckp sabar,atau bertanya lebih lanjut ttg kejadian atau ape yg patut aku ckp.

aku diam.tak patut aku tanye terus menerus apa jadi and semua tu. aku patut dengar apa yg nabil nak ckp je.

aku cuma tanya, lemas, hanyut ke jumpa badan (aku nak ckp mayat/jenazah tapi aku dah sebak juga, tak sampai hati)

"jasad semua ada, jumpa, tapi tak sempat....tak sempat nak selamatkan dia.... cpt sgt bende ni jadi nuna... nabil tgk sendiri nuna...."

pastu aku sebenarnya tak keruan juga walau aku kawal suara aku.

"Nuna kenal tak?" aku takut gila masa ni sungguh.

"nabil tak tahu nuna kenal ke tak,dia SMF Nabil."

..........................................................................................................................

aku tak pernah dgr suara Nabil menangis mcm tu. tak pernah. sedih pernah tapi tak pernah dgr dia menangis. i've been closed to Nabil sejak awal tahun ni, officially dah jadi travelling partner, food hunting partner. and sifu baking aku.

aku pun tak tahu i've been a good friend ke tak semalam.

sebab he chose to call me. and aku tak tahu betul ke cara aku handle call semalam.

Nabil kata dediam je dulu, so aku diam je.

Dlm pukul 3pm mcm tu Ara n Nabil keluarkan statement about the incident kat dlm group, and Ara cerita mcm mana kejadian tu berlaku. baru aku tahu apa jadi sebenarnya.

Sabar lah teman. i am sure time will heal. insyaAllah.

.......................................................................................

he lost a friend. kat pantai. kat Melaka. arwah baru sambut harijadi ke 22 sehari sebelum kejadian.

diorg for sure akan trauma dgn percutian tepi pantai.

we both lost a friend 10months ago due to accident. close friend indeed. Arwah Azlan.

the feeling that i can understand, but he must be hurting so much more, he witness the death with his own bare eyes.

Allahu Akbar.

Every soul will taste death.

tiada apa yg kita miliki, kita ni kerdil sahaja.

Kann?

semoga kematian yg kita lihat, memberikan kita merasai nikmat kehidupan.

agar kita mendapat perngakhiran yang baik.

InsyaAllah, Ameen.

Al Fatihah to our good friends who already leaves this dunya with all the good deeds.

May Allah blessed us all.

in loving memory

Azlan Daud, 4 Sept 1991 - 13 Dec 2013

Fariz Kamil 11 Sept 1992 - 12 Sept 2014

.............

Zinger Remixed

aku pun tak tahu lah.

ini suka atau apa.

moga aku terus berusaha untuk menjadi yang lebih baik.

kerana aku ingin menjadi yang terbaik untuk ramai orang.

...................

jejaka kelantan selalu buat aku terdiam,

kadang2 tersenyum sendiri.

Y2V

I will write on this soon.

I am in love with them.

MPP UiTM 2012/2013