Monday, 27 August 2012
Rahsia Dia
think straight and positive,
jodoh itu rahsia Allah.
just deal with it with no doubt.
Kun Fayakun.
Thursday, 23 August 2012
2117
Many things happened beyond my expectation
for the past few days.
i manage to keep the feeling, rasa itu. sendiri
for myself for so long.
i do shed some tears sometimes,
yes i do.
aku, selalu berlagak tough.
berlagak positif.
mana yang aku boleh tahan aku tahan
mana aku tak boleh, aku nangis.
mana aku boleh ngadu aku ngadu.
mana aku rasa mengadu itu lagi pedih.
aku diam dan menangis.
aku kuat menangis. kuat.
....................
23 ogos 2012.
aku relakan perasaan itu pergi.
biarkan aku sendiri.mencari bahagia.
...................
i never expect this would be such a sedih moment.
Wednesday, 1 August 2012
Dove
i was uninspired.
what to do?
i am alone.
and i do not mix well.
*sigh*
i would never put the blame on others,
it is because,
from the very begining,
i am the one who made the choices for my own life.
everything comes with options.
worst come to worst,
there are 'yes' and 'no'.
mesti ada punya.
eventhough you are forced to make a decision,
you are the one who carry all the loads.
pilihan untuk dipaksa atau pilihan untuk menolak paksaan.
kau still ada pilihan utk tidak dipaksa,
tapi tanggunglah consequences dia.
kalau kena paksa,result akhir lebih bagus,
kau masih ada pilihan untuk memilih untuk dipaksa.
life don't come with manuals or instructions.
tapi, kita kena ingat yg kita ada panduan.
ada rujukan.
Al-quran dan Sunnah.
wise and intelligent are two different things.
is your choice,
to be wise,
or to be intelligent,
or to be both.
or, not to be both.
your life, your choice.
what to do?
i am alone.
and i do not mix well.
*sigh*
i would never put the blame on others,
it is because,
from the very begining,
i am the one who made the choices for my own life.
everything comes with options.
worst come to worst,
there are 'yes' and 'no'.
mesti ada punya.
eventhough you are forced to make a decision,
you are the one who carry all the loads.
pilihan untuk dipaksa atau pilihan untuk menolak paksaan.
kau still ada pilihan utk tidak dipaksa,
tapi tanggunglah consequences dia.
kalau kena paksa,result akhir lebih bagus,
kau masih ada pilihan untuk memilih untuk dipaksa.
life don't come with manuals or instructions.
tapi, kita kena ingat yg kita ada panduan.
ada rujukan.
Al-quran dan Sunnah.
wise and intelligent are two different things.
is your choice,
to be wise,
or to be intelligent,
or to be both.
or, not to be both.
your life, your choice.
Monday, 30 July 2012
colorlok
day 9.
i was late,
habis mandi pun dah pukul 6.20am.
at that time, i said to myself, i am screwed.
siap-siap dah pukul 6.37.
dah start enjin kereta, nak reverse check check phone tertinggal.
oh oh. masuk balik rumah ambil phone.
the phone is necessity kot. tak boleh tak ada.
dah ambil phone, jam pukul 6.45. ok jalan. jalan punya jalan dah nak masuk roundabout,
sedar yg entry pass takda. oh oh oh!
nak patah balik ke tak, nak ke tak.
last last patah balik.
cari punya cari.tak jumpa. mana mana?
aku memang kelam kabut kalau ada barang hilang haisyh.
jumpa! dlm secret pocket handbag lagi satu.
cis.how can i forget.
jam dah pukul 7.04!
7.04 selalunya aku dah lepas dr tol sg besi! hari ni aku baru nak reverse kereta dri rumah kot!!!
freaking out.
nasib aku berjaya menenangkan diri. insyaAllah insyaAllah.
last last aku tempuh jam dgn aman.
sampai jugak before 8.30.bangi-damansara perdana.dapat parking pun baik punye.
Alhamdulillah.
what ever it is, kalau you freaking out. just hadapi dgn tenang.
bila hati tenang,semua pun senang.hihihi.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
aku rasa hananah, mesti tengah pissed off lagi dgn aku.
sebab dia mcm tak nak reply pun whatsapp aku.or dia masih tengah tidur.
ah teruknya aku sebagai seorg kawan.
sebenarnya, aku memang nak teman perasaan dia last week. masa tu memang aku cari masa untuk dia.
lepas waktu kerja.aku nak selit2 jumpa tima hati dia tengah serabut tu. walau aku memang tak dpt buat
apa2 yg menyelasaikan apa apa masalah dia kan. but i want to be there.
just be there.
tapi dia ada berbuka dgn kawan2 imran dia. aku pun dok rushing2 nak balik sume bagai. last last
memang tak dpt jumpa.aku rasa kesal.
lagi rasa kesal sebab, aku nak pujuk dia tapi tak nak pujuk dia.
maksud aku mcm takdalah aku nak kata sabar ya, dugaan hidup cenggini cenggitu.
aku mmg bodoh kot bab nasihat ttg hidup ni.
tapi aku pg ckp aku taknak pujuk kat dia.
mmg patut ah dia pissed off kan.ala.
see, aku sendiri pun tak leh nak advise diri sendiri cara
nak ckp ngan people yg aku syg.pfffttt
so, dia dah stop whatsapp,msg,call aku.
padan muka.
aku sendiri yg close the door of communications between me and her.
silly me.
i was late,
habis mandi pun dah pukul 6.20am.
at that time, i said to myself, i am screwed.
siap-siap dah pukul 6.37.
dah start enjin kereta, nak reverse check check phone tertinggal.
oh oh. masuk balik rumah ambil phone.
the phone is necessity kot. tak boleh tak ada.
dah ambil phone, jam pukul 6.45. ok jalan. jalan punya jalan dah nak masuk roundabout,
sedar yg entry pass takda. oh oh oh!
nak patah balik ke tak, nak ke tak.
last last patah balik.
cari punya cari.tak jumpa. mana mana?
aku memang kelam kabut kalau ada barang hilang haisyh.
jumpa! dlm secret pocket handbag lagi satu.
cis.how can i forget.
jam dah pukul 7.04!
7.04 selalunya aku dah lepas dr tol sg besi! hari ni aku baru nak reverse kereta dri rumah kot!!!
freaking out.
nasib aku berjaya menenangkan diri. insyaAllah insyaAllah.
last last aku tempuh jam dgn aman.
sampai jugak before 8.30.bangi-damansara perdana.dapat parking pun baik punye.
Alhamdulillah.
what ever it is, kalau you freaking out. just hadapi dgn tenang.
bila hati tenang,semua pun senang.hihihi.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
aku rasa hananah, mesti tengah pissed off lagi dgn aku.
sebab dia mcm tak nak reply pun whatsapp aku.or dia masih tengah tidur.
ah teruknya aku sebagai seorg kawan.
sebenarnya, aku memang nak teman perasaan dia last week. masa tu memang aku cari masa untuk dia.
lepas waktu kerja.aku nak selit2 jumpa tima hati dia tengah serabut tu. walau aku memang tak dpt buat
apa2 yg menyelasaikan apa apa masalah dia kan. but i want to be there.
just be there.
tapi dia ada berbuka dgn kawan2 imran dia. aku pun dok rushing2 nak balik sume bagai. last last
memang tak dpt jumpa.aku rasa kesal.
lagi rasa kesal sebab, aku nak pujuk dia tapi tak nak pujuk dia.
maksud aku mcm takdalah aku nak kata sabar ya, dugaan hidup cenggini cenggitu.
aku mmg bodoh kot bab nasihat ttg hidup ni.
tapi aku pg ckp aku taknak pujuk kat dia.
mmg patut ah dia pissed off kan.ala.
see, aku sendiri pun tak leh nak advise diri sendiri cara
nak ckp ngan people yg aku syg.pfffttt
so, dia dah stop whatsapp,msg,call aku.
padan muka.
aku sendiri yg close the door of communications between me and her.
silly me.
Wednesday, 25 July 2012
Setia Sky 88
day 5.
tiba tiba rasa nak kawin.
mungkin sebab tengah kerja pastu ramadhan.
bestnya ada org hantar pergi kerja.
...
dulu aku selalu latih diri jadi independent.
boleh buat semua benda sendiri.
drive sana sini,
tahu jalan sana sini.
ok lah, aku memang dah berjaya buat banyak benda sendiri.
cari kerja sendiri,
drive sendiri.
paling banyak, tentang driving kot.
aku rasa sgt sgt penting ada lesen kereta dan kereta.
tapi bila kereta buat hal, rosak, mengada.
itu aku masih belum boleh rely on myself.
aku tahu guna kereta je.
blrrrgghhhh.
dulu aku selalu fikir,
nanti kalau dah kawin.
aku nak pergi kerja sendiri, nak drive sendiri.
suami pergi sendiri,aku pergi sendiri.
tapi hari ni aku rasa best sgt papa hantar gi kerja.
ah,mula rasa nak tukar fikiran.
kah kah.
nanti nak pergi kerja nak suami hantar.
eleh, setakat praktikal boleh lah pergi hantar balik berjemput.
hello, bila kerja betul nanti, aku memang selalu akan terlibat dgn kerja luar.
meeting, site visit,
site evaluation lagi, inspection dan bla bla bla...
well, tgk keadaan lah,
ape ape pun aku nak ckp having a driving license is a necissity nowadays.
sama mcm telefon.
tak kisah la,you ada kereta ke tak.
but you have to have a licence.
itu je pun point aku.
tiba tiba rasa nak kawin.
mungkin sebab tengah kerja pastu ramadhan.
bestnya ada org hantar pergi kerja.
...
dulu aku selalu latih diri jadi independent.
boleh buat semua benda sendiri.
drive sana sini,
tahu jalan sana sini.
ok lah, aku memang dah berjaya buat banyak benda sendiri.
cari kerja sendiri,
drive sendiri.
paling banyak, tentang driving kot.
aku rasa sgt sgt penting ada lesen kereta dan kereta.
tapi bila kereta buat hal, rosak, mengada.
itu aku masih belum boleh rely on myself.
aku tahu guna kereta je.
blrrrgghhhh.
dulu aku selalu fikir,
nanti kalau dah kawin.
aku nak pergi kerja sendiri, nak drive sendiri.
suami pergi sendiri,aku pergi sendiri.
tapi hari ni aku rasa best sgt papa hantar gi kerja.
ah,mula rasa nak tukar fikiran.
kah kah.
nanti nak pergi kerja nak suami hantar.
eleh, setakat praktikal boleh lah pergi hantar balik berjemput.
hello, bila kerja betul nanti, aku memang selalu akan terlibat dgn kerja luar.
meeting, site visit,
site evaluation lagi, inspection dan bla bla bla...
well, tgk keadaan lah,
ape ape pun aku nak ckp having a driving license is a necissity nowadays.
sama mcm telefon.
tak kisah la,you ada kereta ke tak.
but you have to have a licence.
itu je pun point aku.
Tuesday, 24 July 2012
Husna the Trainee
1.Tempat
aku sanggup dtg all the way from bangi to this place, sebab, ya sebab tempat dia,
i tell you. i love this place, the environment and all. basically parking fee dia mahal gilos.
but, aku parking je kat bahu jalan, dah 2 minggu try, its like ramai je parking situ. tak kena
apa2 so far. ok lah tu kan. menangis sob sob sob kalau kena bayar parking tiap hari sampai belasan ringgit.
2.Pejabat
tingkat 6, ofis menghadap menara mustafa kamal. well, aku dah kata aku suka tempat ini kan?
ofis, lebis kurang la besar mcm kat pakatan dulu. but, everyone ada meja sendiri, ada partition for each.
well, i have my own working space. big enough. own pc with 2 screens.
colleague, emm, there are 14 people. sorang bos, sorang accountant, sorang admin, 10 qs, 1 trainee..hehehehe
11 of them are Chineese. ada dua staf melayu, kak siti n kak nik.
so far, pernah borak dgn kak nik je yg malay ah. kak siti mcm takut je nak borak. tah biarlah. aku yg tak ramah.
budak baru. hik hik hik
sebelah aku miss tan, comel, depan aku lagi comel, miss lee.
admin ni celine mmg busy setiap masa. ke situ ke sini.
well, she help me to adapt masa first week hari tu.*glad*
pantry.oh oh. best. tapi biasa lah pantry.pilih je nak milo,nescafe,kopi,nestum.sume ade.
hahahaha, first week je ah, second week ni dah start puasa
toilet sebersih bersihnya.*glad,glad*
stationaries semua diorang provide, aku dtg dengan sebatang pen je hari pertama, sebab pencil case tinggal kat rumah laiqha.
pen, pemadan,ruler, even calculator baru pun diorg bagi. ah banyak betul, penuh dah laci aku dgn stationaries.hehehe ok tipu.
tak lah penuh. tapi banyak lah.
3.canggih.
aku rasa mcm aku ni org kampung masuk bandar. like seriously, first day aku masuk,
aku dapat entry pass, dah la dpt pc yg ade dua screen,(semua org pun),aku pi tanye miss tan, why there is two screens?
hahahaha, rupanya untuk drawing yg guna auto-cad, briscad. it's easier you know.
dpt drawing dr engineers, boleh terus scale on digital drawing. fuh fuh.
so far aku tak guna lagi scale ruler. hik hik hik.
4.makan.
tak sedap ah makanan kat cafe bawah.emm sehari tu je aku makan kat bawah. masa first day.
the rest aku bawak bekal. makan kat atas je.jimat.aku tak sempat explore pun kedai kedai makan kat bawah tu,
banyak lagi sebenarnya. tunggu lah lepas raya.
5.solat dan waktu rehat
rehat 12.30-1.30, standard lah kan.since ada 2 org je staf melayu perempuan pulak tu,
hari jumaat pun rehat 12.30-1.30, aku tak kisah pun.
it just hari jumaat boleh balik awal sikit, pukul 5.
ramadhan nie lagi syiok, balik kol 4.30. tapi dgn jam kl tu, semalam, sampai rumah pukul 6.30 jugak.
tak kisah, cuma mcm bosan ah duduk dlm jam.hik hok.
solat kat bilik meeting, aku yakin bersih,sebab carpet semua. and memang yakin lah.ok, diorg tak halang nak solat.
6.work load.
aku tak tahu mcm mana sistem kerja diorang sebenarnya. diorang check ke tak kerja aku? aku tak sure.
sebab diorang tak pernah ada trainee. so
diorg treat aku mcm new staff gitu.
cuak juga lah.
hari2 aku ada kena check progress payment, lepas dia print aku check,
lepas aku check dia tanya ada salah tak? aku jawab takda, dia terus sign,
aku pun kena sign sebagai checker.
cuak juga, masa buat pulapol kat pakatan dulu,
punyalah menggeletar aku nak hantar kat abg sham,abg syem masa lepas checking dulu.
ala standard lah kot, lain tempat lainlah environment kan?
7.bahasa
masa first di interview oleh Miss Loh dulu, memang fully english, masuk pun english,
tapi cmpur campur juga ckp. Chinese ckp mandarin kot, sebab aku boleh faham sikit2 sikit je lah.
terima kasih Laoshi! hik hik
so conclusion untuk minggu awal ni, i dont think it is hard to adapt here.
lepas ni nak korek buku mandarin yg entah ke mana tu, boleh ah ckp ckp ngan diorg kan.
lepas ini misi nak borak dgn kak siti.
misi nak borak panjang panjang ngan semua org.
nak gelak gelak. aku jarang dapat environment mcm ni/
duduk dgn chinese.aku jadi minoriti.
so aku nak grab pengalaman yg aku yakin akan jadi manis! wehoooooo.
aku sanggup dtg all the way from bangi to this place, sebab, ya sebab tempat dia,
i tell you. i love this place, the environment and all. basically parking fee dia mahal gilos.
but, aku parking je kat bahu jalan, dah 2 minggu try, its like ramai je parking situ. tak kena
apa2 so far. ok lah tu kan. menangis sob sob sob kalau kena bayar parking tiap hari sampai belasan ringgit.
2.Pejabat
tingkat 6, ofis menghadap menara mustafa kamal. well, aku dah kata aku suka tempat ini kan?
ofis, lebis kurang la besar mcm kat pakatan dulu. but, everyone ada meja sendiri, ada partition for each.
well, i have my own working space. big enough. own pc with 2 screens.
colleague, emm, there are 14 people. sorang bos, sorang accountant, sorang admin, 10 qs, 1 trainee..hehehehe
11 of them are Chineese. ada dua staf melayu, kak siti n kak nik.
so far, pernah borak dgn kak nik je yg malay ah. kak siti mcm takut je nak borak. tah biarlah. aku yg tak ramah.
budak baru. hik hik hik
sebelah aku miss tan, comel, depan aku lagi comel, miss lee.
admin ni celine mmg busy setiap masa. ke situ ke sini.
well, she help me to adapt masa first week hari tu.*glad*
pantry.oh oh. best. tapi biasa lah pantry.pilih je nak milo,nescafe,kopi,nestum.sume ade.
hahahaha, first week je ah, second week ni dah start puasa
toilet sebersih bersihnya.*glad,glad*
stationaries semua diorang provide, aku dtg dengan sebatang pen je hari pertama, sebab pencil case tinggal kat rumah laiqha.
pen, pemadan,ruler, even calculator baru pun diorg bagi. ah banyak betul, penuh dah laci aku dgn stationaries.hehehe ok tipu.
tak lah penuh. tapi banyak lah.
3.canggih.
aku rasa mcm aku ni org kampung masuk bandar. like seriously, first day aku masuk,
aku dapat entry pass, dah la dpt pc yg ade dua screen,(semua org pun),aku pi tanye miss tan, why there is two screens?
hahahaha, rupanya untuk drawing yg guna auto-cad, briscad. it's easier you know.
dpt drawing dr engineers, boleh terus scale on digital drawing. fuh fuh.
so far aku tak guna lagi scale ruler. hik hik hik.
4.makan.
tak sedap ah makanan kat cafe bawah.emm sehari tu je aku makan kat bawah. masa first day.
the rest aku bawak bekal. makan kat atas je.jimat.aku tak sempat explore pun kedai kedai makan kat bawah tu,
banyak lagi sebenarnya. tunggu lah lepas raya.
5.solat dan waktu rehat
rehat 12.30-1.30, standard lah kan.since ada 2 org je staf melayu perempuan pulak tu,
hari jumaat pun rehat 12.30-1.30, aku tak kisah pun.
it just hari jumaat boleh balik awal sikit, pukul 5.
ramadhan nie lagi syiok, balik kol 4.30. tapi dgn jam kl tu, semalam, sampai rumah pukul 6.30 jugak.
tak kisah, cuma mcm bosan ah duduk dlm jam.hik hok.
solat kat bilik meeting, aku yakin bersih,sebab carpet semua. and memang yakin lah.ok, diorg tak halang nak solat.
6.work load.
aku tak tahu mcm mana sistem kerja diorang sebenarnya. diorang check ke tak kerja aku? aku tak sure.
sebab diorang tak pernah ada trainee. so
diorg treat aku mcm new staff gitu.
cuak juga lah.
hari2 aku ada kena check progress payment, lepas dia print aku check,
lepas aku check dia tanya ada salah tak? aku jawab takda, dia terus sign,
aku pun kena sign sebagai checker.
cuak juga, masa buat pulapol kat pakatan dulu,
punyalah menggeletar aku nak hantar kat abg sham,abg syem masa lepas checking dulu.
ala standard lah kot, lain tempat lainlah environment kan?
7.bahasa
masa first di interview oleh Miss Loh dulu, memang fully english, masuk pun english,
tapi cmpur campur juga ckp. Chinese ckp mandarin kot, sebab aku boleh faham sikit2 sikit je lah.
terima kasih Laoshi! hik hik
so conclusion untuk minggu awal ni, i dont think it is hard to adapt here.
lepas ni nak korek buku mandarin yg entah ke mana tu, boleh ah ckp ckp ngan diorg kan.
lepas ini misi nak borak dgn kak siti.
misi nak borak panjang panjang ngan semua org.
nak gelak gelak. aku jarang dapat environment mcm ni/
duduk dgn chinese.aku jadi minoriti.
so aku nak grab pengalaman yg aku yakin akan jadi manis! wehoooooo.
UQS :)
selama ini aku terlalu selesa barangkali duduk di kalangan bangsa sendiri.
hari ini, masuk minggu kedua, aku praktikal kat company Cina.
well.i dont hold any grudge towards any bangsa pun.
ya,kedaulatan melayu, wasiat raja raja.and so forth.important. aku tahu.
but see them as individual, i don't see why we must hate them,
why we must have a grudge, full of hatred and so on.
asingkan fahaman politik dan sifat ke-puak-puakan dengan nilai kemanusiaan.
asingkan emosi dan rasional
aku okay,
mereka tak hina aku, tak hina agamaku, tak halang aku menjalankan tanggungjawab sebagai seorang muslim.
i would do the same.
*tapi, bulan puasa ni, dorang suka buat air kopi la milo la nescafe lah. time aku ngantuk.
hehehehehehe, i dont see any problem with that.
i am adapting myself.
hari ini, masuk minggu kedua, aku praktikal kat company Cina.
well.i dont hold any grudge towards any bangsa pun.
ya,kedaulatan melayu, wasiat raja raja.and so forth.important. aku tahu.
but see them as individual, i don't see why we must hate them,
why we must have a grudge, full of hatred and so on.
asingkan fahaman politik dan sifat ke-puak-puakan dengan nilai kemanusiaan.
asingkan emosi dan rasional
aku okay,
mereka tak hina aku, tak hina agamaku, tak halang aku menjalankan tanggungjawab sebagai seorang muslim.
i would do the same.
*tapi, bulan puasa ni, dorang suka buat air kopi la milo la nescafe lah. time aku ngantuk.
hehehehehehe, i dont see any problem with that.
i am adapting myself.
Saturday, 14 July 2012
hitam pekat
aku rasa aku tak layak.
untuk bertanding.
tapi kata teman, tak kisah lah mcm mana pun peluang tu datang,
ia tetap peluang.
jadi, kalau ianya satu peluang, kenapa perlu bazirkan dgn alasan yg sia sia? kan? . :)
jika ini peluang yg dtg sekali seumur hidup,
i'll grab it with both hands and feet.
aku anggap ia perjuangan.
perjuang belum selesai.
belajar terus belajar.
untuk bertanding.
tapi kata teman, tak kisah lah mcm mana pun peluang tu datang,
ia tetap peluang.
jadi, kalau ianya satu peluang, kenapa perlu bazirkan dgn alasan yg sia sia? kan? . :)
jika ini peluang yg dtg sekali seumur hidup,
i'll grab it with both hands and feet.
aku anggap ia perjuangan.
perjuang belum selesai.
belajar terus belajar.
death
i am scared.
i am scared to lose someone that mean the world to me. the family.
sejak dua menjak ini, minggu ni sahaja, dua kematian melibatkan ibu dan bapa jiran dan teman di universiti.
aku takut.
aku takut.
Ya Allah, tenangkanlah hati kecil ku ini.
....................................................................................
i am scared to lose someone that mean the world to me. the family.
sejak dua menjak ini, minggu ni sahaja, dua kematian melibatkan ibu dan bapa jiran dan teman di universiti.
aku takut.
aku takut.
Ya Allah, tenangkanlah hati kecil ku ini.
....................................................................................
Saturday, 23 June 2012
KLCC
tup tup dah nak exam.
busy sangat ke aku?
whatever. hutang assignment constech.esok last hantar.
hhehehehehe.
whatever what ever.
ini blog aku. ini perasaan aku.
...................
i want to get married.
i want to built a new environment.
i want to put a standard to my future life.
i want to create memories that i never thought i would ever imagine.
because i'm gonna mess it up.definitely.
i want to decorate my own house with the husband.
i want us to choose the colour of our dinning hall, the bedroom and the kitchen.
i want to do all the DIY stuff that i always wanted to do as the deco in.
i want to have a space where the husband and me can pray and recite Al-Quran together.
i want to have a book-racks.
i want to have a husband.
i want to cook for the husband.
i want a husband who entirely save my aurat for himself.
i don't need a perfect man to be the husband.
he dont have the muscle? no problem.
he has a flabby stomach? not a problem.
he can't speak french? no big deal.
he only have Perodua Kancil? comel what.no problem.
as long as me and the husband can live well, can live with each other,
and overcome all the differences.
there will always be the way in adapting.
well. me myself have a lot of weaknesses, too many.
i am not perfect.
i'm just hoping that i will fill in the blank for all of 'the husband's' weaknesses with my unique way.and vice versa.
i want to get married.
busy sangat ke aku?
whatever. hutang assignment constech.esok last hantar.
hhehehehehe.
whatever what ever.
ini blog aku. ini perasaan aku.
...................
i want to get married.
i want to built a new environment.
i want to put a standard to my future life.
i want to create memories that i never thought i would ever imagine.
because i'm gonna mess it up.definitely.
i want to decorate my own house with the husband.
i want us to choose the colour of our dinning hall, the bedroom and the kitchen.
i want to do all the DIY stuff that i always wanted to do as the deco in.
i want to have a space where the husband and me can pray and recite Al-Quran together.
i want to have a book-racks.
i want to have a husband.
i want to cook for the husband.
i want a husband who entirely save my aurat for himself.
i don't need a perfect man to be the husband.
he dont have the muscle? no problem.
he has a flabby stomach? not a problem.
he can't speak french? no big deal.
he only have Perodua Kancil? comel what.no problem.
as long as me and the husband can live well, can live with each other,
and overcome all the differences.
there will always be the way in adapting.
well. me myself have a lot of weaknesses, too many.
i am not perfect.
i'm just hoping that i will fill in the blank for all of 'the husband's' weaknesses with my unique way.and vice versa.
i want to get married.
Monday, 14 May 2012
Senduk
nampak sgt lama tak update blog,
nak karang new post pun rasa weird sikit, layout dah tukar,
rasa macam awkward sikit.
but thats doesnt bother me as much as other things. hahahahaha
hurrmmmm.
my closest cousin will getting married soon.
and i planned to skip the whole week of CLASSES before her solemnization day.
but tengok lah nanti mcm mana.
...................................................
my heart doesnt skip a beat whenever i see you, whenever i talk to you.
it's like never.
tapi terasa zushhh, bila dapat msg, pastu keluar nama dia. what the heck is going on?
ok i know, blah blah blah.
again.doesnt really important.
never been a crush, and i do really hope it will never be.
kawan2 yang baca please do not guess anyone, do not imagine. okie! :P
......................
i want to get married early, kalau boleh before 25. like seriously.
..............................
ini blog aku kan?
ini yang aku rasa.
i am fat, and nobody attracted to me. hahaha mcm mane nak kawin awal. cit.
okay bye.
nak karang new post pun rasa weird sikit, layout dah tukar,
rasa macam awkward sikit.
but thats doesnt bother me as much as other things. hahahahaha
hurrmmmm.
my closest cousin will getting married soon.
and i planned to skip the whole week of CLASSES before her solemnization day.
but tengok lah nanti mcm mana.
...................................................
my heart doesnt skip a beat whenever i see you, whenever i talk to you.
it's like never.
tapi terasa zushhh, bila dapat msg, pastu keluar nama dia. what the heck is going on?
ok i know, blah blah blah.
again.doesnt really important.
never been a crush, and i do really hope it will never be.
kawan2 yang baca please do not guess anyone, do not imagine. okie! :P
......................
i want to get married early, kalau boleh before 25. like seriously.
..............................
ini blog aku kan?
ini yang aku rasa.
i am fat, and nobody attracted to me. hahaha mcm mane nak kawin awal. cit.
okay bye.
Saturday, 21 April 2012
4041, Ilham
menjaga hubungan antara manusia kadang kala memang payah,
tapi, berusahalah, okay?
bila bertengkar, berselisih pendapat, bertelagah,
jangan hanya pandang ke sisi yang buruk sahaja.
sepanjang berkawan, bergelak tawa, menangis,
takkan lah tak ada kebaikan yang disumbangkan?
betul kan?
perasaan itu adalah benar.
rendahkan egois mu.
Sunday, 8 April 2012
Lukisan tak menipu
orang baca buku.
tapi bukan setakat buku
pernah dengar orang baca orang?
i am still the typical women who can be read easily by people.
The April
April
5th :Submit assignment IT
6-8 th : Team Building (PPO) SMF FSPU, Malacca
9th : Survival Mahasiswa , DATC.
10th : Submit assignment 1 - Research Methodology
: Test 1 : Mandarin I
Meeting SEKI - Anugerah Dekan
11th : PUBLIC HOLIDAY, Gerakan Padu Team AD
12th : Presentation : Construction Technology : Solid Structure
13-14th : Team Building PERUBAHAN, Pahang
18th : Anugerah Dekan
20-23rd : Bengkel Pembangunan Laman Wen dan Montaj, Port Dickson
25-28th : Wakil SEKI, Sabah.
21-29th : MIDTERM BREAK
Thursday, 29 March 2012
Mencari lagi.
Tudung,
bukan sekadar menutupi,
tapi melindungi.
Ini pendapat aku, yang aku sendiri rasakan.
bila aku pakai tudung, takde nya aku nak pakai baju tak cukup kain.
sleeveless, shorts etc. etc.
tapi tudung sahaja mcm tak cukup.
maksud aku kalau ia sekadar tudung yang sebenarnya hanya lapisan kain membalut kepala lah.
pakai tudung tapi singkat.
pakai tudung tapi jarang sangat.
pakai tudung tapi ketat sangat,
lately,
aku mencuba pakai tudung berlainan saiz ke kuliah, ke luar rumah.
entah, ini memang hanya pendapat aku secara individu.aku tak tahu org lain.
aku rasa layanan org sekeliling juga berlainan.
lebih2 lagi orang asing (stranger)
mereka menghormati, contoh, kalau beli barang, kalau ada baki, selalunya mesti tersentuh sikit kat tangan, bila aku pakai tudung besar sikit, perkara tu mcm tak jadi tau.
bila aku pakai tudung besar sikit,
aku sendiri rasa malu jika pakaian aku nampak bentuk badan ke,
sengseng lengan baju ke.
mcm tu lah.
aku gemuk dan pendek.
so basically memang baju2 aku tu kadang2 menampakkan lemak sana sini. tapi bukan aku sengaja. hahaha
banyak lagi yg aku kena belajar dri hikmah yang telah Allah bagi kat aku.
selama ini aku takut yang aku tak boleh buat.
tapi, selagi kita tak melangkah, sampai bila2 pun kita masih di tampuk lama.
aku ingin jadi berani,
berani jatuh, berani tergolek, berani malu,
untuk.
terus disini, bangun sendiri dan menjadi yg lebih baik.
Layakkah aku untuk mengharapkan seorang lelaki yang baik untuk menjadi pendamping dan pembimbing ke jalan yang benar?
Sunday, 25 March 2012
12.2
lebih baik tak tahu dari tahu?
benarkah?
ah, aku tak tahu aku menyesal ke tak sebab perasaan nak tahu tadi.
sekarang aku rasa sebal. sugul.
hidup dalam gelap.
tak produktif langsung hari ini.
....................................
menangis umpama anak kecil.
Sunday, 26 February 2012
Al - Mughni
berubah,
ya perubahan.
aku rasa mcm budus bila baca balik blog post yg lama2,
hahahaha separuh tu mengarut habis,
tapi biarlah, semua post berdasarkan perasaan semasa.
someday, aku akan baca balik and see how far aku dah berubah :)
do you want to be the bitter or the better?
i want to be a better person :)
"jgn pandang perkara baik itu kecil. kalau ia ikhlas..akan terus sampai ke langit" H.Razak, 2012
Tuesday, 21 February 2012
A girl must be patient.
while i was browsing the youtube for Nouman Ali Khan lectures,
i found this link.
so, i downloaded it and feel like sharing it to those who reading this.
"And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard
their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except
what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over
their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers,
their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their
brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their
right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children
who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their
feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers!
turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss." Surah An-Nur : 31
Sunday, 19 February 2012
SONIGEAR
somehow, today i do realised something about myself.
hua hua hua.
i am practically not stupid, i know i have got some good quality trapped inside me body.
but it is trapped,
i always thought that i have no gut and strength.
well,
i guess i am to coward to admit the truth.
because the truth is true enough.
cakap berdekah2 tentang pendirian,
tentang pembelaan,
aku tetap rasa kau tak perfect, no one does nowadays.
tapi tak perlu lah tunjukkan 'puncak kebodohan' secara terang dan nyata.
aku tak sempurna, kau tak sempurna, mereka tak sempurna.
............................
and lagi satu benda.
now i can see why people always said that love is blind.
how 2 people in love can be so silly.
hehehehehe.
Sunday, 22 January 2012
OTK 6.0 vs Langkawi
i never thought that making decision is hard.
i never thought it will make me a serious person.like seriously serious.
i tell you, it's no fun of me being in this particular situation.
being big and being a person that people trust comes completely with a very huge responsibility.
and i dont really think i am up to that level yet
not even close.
or maybe not even a little bit.
or not even at all?
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