i am not good enough to actually be a friend to anybody

my emotion is totally screwed up right now.

well, i am a leader. but i am a human too.

perlu belagak cool, seperti hidup tanpa masalah.

siapa suruh?

keadaan memaksa. malas nak eleborate. salah sendiri tak pandai atur hidup.

after all, sebenarnya, people just don't want to actually
know what are your problems thou.

so why bother telling people my problems?

tapi biasa lah. i am a human too okay.

there is actually one person yg banyak dgr keluhan harian aku.

well, takkan aku nak luahkan semuanya kat dia.

dia pun boleh gila. thank you sri.for being there right beside me

most of the time lately.

i admit, since mpp-licious.

i have lost friends along the way.

not phisically,but yeah, i dont know how to actually explain it.

sometimes i feels like giving up. but what the heck,

i have checked my dictionary of life, there is no such word of giving up.

................

semalam, aku tak tahan sangat,

aku asyik nangis..

naik kereta nangis,

*mesti semalam sri pun tak tahu nak ckp apa*

dia buat lawak,aku gelak, tapi air mata duk mengalir.

masuk bilik nangis.

depan computer nangis.

masuk meeting muka cool,

masuk kelas muka cool juga.

makan masih cool.

.................

aku call mama

call papa.

saje, takde topic, tanya buat apa, kat mana, pastu bye.

somehow,somewhat,it comforts me. i dont know how.

parents kot. magic.

............

dulu, selalunya dlm kelas kat fac, kami bertiga.

agaknya lagha sgt aku ni,

sebab actually, dua ketul sahabat tu je yg manage to actually

makes my day.berdrama, membuli seorang lagi.gelak, chatting dlm kelas.etc etc.

well, life has change maybe.

maybe she's got better plan for her life,

we hardly talk to each other.

drastically, i just couldnt understand the situation.

i never know silence could be this loud.

i dont know what happen.

and i dont have any reason to interfere her life after all.

she did nothing wrong pun.

so, i am blaming myself, i have lost a friend.again, not phisically but mentally

since that, i always cry to sleep.

i miss you buddy.

whatever you do, take care.

you always been wonderful to me ever since kita rapat.

thank you. i wish you all the happiness in life.

.

ok, nak siap ke professional talk, kejap lagi.

*lap airmata*